Family social etiquette problemo, will I attend parties of an in-law’s family without them there?
The in law is my brothers wife & she & my brother don’t get invited, only I do, because her siblings like me but don’t want her & my brother there.
I have a sister in law & she & my brother are not very social. Most of their life outside of work revolves around housework, eating & watching tv. I was round there recently on a lovely sunny day (this is in New Zealand so it’s sunny here & most people live an outdoor lifestyle with going to the beach, etc) & there they were inside watching tv. Not exactly what I’d be doing on such a lovely day, I’ve never watched daytime tv, especially on the weekend, in my whole life! They have a lovely sunny balcony they never go out on, beaches not too far away they never to, etc. Everyone in my family & my sister in laws family think they are very dull as people.
I get on really well with my sister in law’s siblings. We are similar in that we are usually doing something interesting in our lives, we love to go out, love to meet new people, go to parties, etc. My problem is, my sister in law’s siblings want to be friends with me but this will cause friction with my sister in law & my brother as they will feel left out.
2 of my sister in laws siblings don’t like her & refuse to invite her to family gatherings (she hasn’t done anything wrong, they are just being overly mean). The 3rd one does like her but is frustrated at her boring lifestyle. They want to invite her to family gatherings but the other siblings say no. Now they are inviting me to their family gatherings but not my brother & sister in law. I have been saying no as my brother & sister in law would be furious if they found out I went. I know my sister in law cries about not being invited to alot of things. She does see her nice sister though, they invite her around at other times when the others aren’t there.
On the one hand I’m trying to stay loyal, but on the other hand I am missing out on fun things I want to go to with my sister in law’s siblings (especially the nicer one and her husband, we all get on like a house on fire & have a lot in common). Recently they arranged a huge party in a hall attended by a few hundred people & I was so disappointed that I felt I had to decide it wouldn’t be wise for me to go.
What do you think?
January 11th, 2010 at 4:52 pm
I would not go to any party of theirs that’s her family not yours and I can assure you she is the victim in all this and it has to hurt her that everyone is against her and the person she loves because they dint like or feel the need to pretend to be happy they more than likely are very happy and even if they are not its their business.Stay loyal to your brother because if they turn on their own sister that way can you imagine what they will do to you.Someone will make sure your brother finds out you went and then you wont be any better than them.I’m sorry but I am all for family and when they gang up on each other that tells me to back off its bad news so stick by your brother and sister-in-law crystal