You should seek legal advice. There are women’s services around the state that can assist you with legal advice. If you can get a Family lawyer.

The current situation under the Family Law Act is that both parents should get “equal and substantial time” with their children. What that means exactly is up to either the parents to work out themselves or if he takes you to court then the court will decide.
Unless there is any reason why the children shouldn’t see him then he should get some contact. But that doesn’t mean they have to live with him.
He doesn’t sound like he wants to be involved anyway - his loss! He may just be threatening to take you to court.
You should contact a lawyer for advice there are free services for women. Google should produce some for your location. Best of luck.

The fundamental principle of Australian family law is the best interests of the CHILD. Obviously it would not be in the interests of your son for him to be removed from you, his mother.

However the court might decide that the child also has a right to know his father, and on that basis your ex might be given limited access, not because it’s good for your ex but because it’s good for your son. In other words, it’s the child who has a right to access his or her parent, not the other way around.

However, again, very few cases actually go to court and all are required to attempt conciliation before a court hearing would be permitted. So if you can’t work it out between youselves, you and your ex will be required to sit down with a counsellor to agree upon how often, where and when your son should see his father, and also what should take place during visits.

At this point you would specify that you want to be present throughout the visit, that the child should not be removed from your home, or whatever you deem appropriate. (Bear in mind that it could be the grandparents who are pushing behind the scenes for your son to be part of THEIR family. You may be surprised to find that this doesn’t only concern you and your ex!)

You’re in for a lot of long, difficult discussions, I’m afraid. I would advise you to get the help of a case worker or the like ~ someone who knows how the system works & who can advise, support, and advocate for you.

You need to DOCUMENT everything to do with the case, such as any evidence you have to back up your allegations against your ex. [This is the deal in relation to any sort of legal dispute.] Write down what happens during access visits & what he says in phone conversations, especially any abuse or threats (I hope he doesn’t make any, but it could happen).

In the long term, your son does need some sort of father, even a very imperfect one. He will notice when he goes to kinder or school that other kids have daddies, and he’ll wonder about where his daddy is.

Your ex has evidently never had a relationship with the little boy, and doesn’t know how to go about creating one. Perhaps you could help them both develop some sort of rapport. Many adults don’t know how to relate to small children. You could teach him how to play with your son, tell him what he likes and doesn’t like, and prompt him to share activities with him such as kicking a footy around the garden.

Little by little, your ex may develop into some basic approximation of a father….

You would of course do this for your son’s sake, and it would be a sacrifice on your part, as it is obviously painful for you to spend time with this man who deserted you.

The father would have access to a solicitor who would present his point of view to the court, and the judge will decide based on any proof that is offered, how reliable the witnesses are, and the best interests of the child.

As a general rule, parents of either gender are rarely denied some sort of visitation rights with their child/ren, but in extreme cases this is sometimes done.

The fact is, the law is complex here as elsewhere, so it’s best to speak with solicitor to make sure all your rights are considered and you are well prepared when you get into the court room.

The link below will take you to a page where you can find links to various government websites where family law issues are discussed.

Best wishes