Comments on: My wife refuses to attend family events with me because she hates my sister and brother-in-law? http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/ Thu, 17 May 2012 17:43:30 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.7 hourly 1 By: ggsspirit http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-816 ggsspirit Fri, 13 Feb 2009 15:27:48 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-816 Hi, I don't consider either of those comments to be rude. "Wow your yard is big enough for a boat" thats a compliment. "Why did you move to this town?" is a question. Sounds like your wife has the same problem I used to have which was taking things people say the wrong way. It can ruin her life and keep her from having friends or even being happy. The problem is that she needs to retrain her way of thinking. Everything someone said to me I took personally and thought they were being sarcastic. I've since changed the way I take in people's comments and I'm alot happier. Tell her to exercise her intelligence. After someone makes a comment that offends her tell her to analyze what was said. And offer up an intelligent respectful answer. People will admire her. I used to get pissed off when someone said why did you paint your bathroom turquoise? That may or may not be a subtle way of saying that they don't like it. Who cares? Or maybe their just curious. Now I'll just say because I like it. There you have it. Just sit down and talk with her about your feelings and maybe she'll realize that she is taking things out of context. Hope all goes well. God bless you and your family. You will know if someone is intentionally being hateful by the way they say things. Hi, I don’t consider either of those comments to be rude. “Wow your yard is big enough for a boat” thats a compliment. “Why did you move to this town?” is a question. Sounds like your wife has the same problem I used to have which was taking things people say the wrong way. It can ruin her life and keep her from having friends or even being happy. The problem is that she needs to retrain her way of thinking. Everything someone said to me I took personally and thought they were being sarcastic. I’ve since changed the way I take in people’s comments and I’m alot happier. Tell her to exercise her intelligence. After someone makes a comment that offends her tell her to analyze what was said. And offer up an intelligent respectful answer. People will admire her. I used to get pissed off when someone said why did you paint your bathroom turquoise? That may or may not be a subtle way of saying that they don’t like it. Who cares? Or maybe their just curious. Now I’ll just say because I like it. There you have it. Just sit down and talk with her about your feelings and maybe she’ll realize that she is taking things out of context. Hope all goes well. God bless you and your family. You will know if someone is intentionally being hateful by the way they say things.

]]> By: Making a difference http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-815 Making a difference Fri, 13 Feb 2009 13:48:22 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-815 It really saddens me to say this but if she truly loves you - she would put her feelings to the side. It sounds to me that there is something much more deeper here. You need to let your wife know how you feel and from the sounds of things - you wouldn't be able to successfully express your feelings without being cut off - so I would suggest writing her letter and expressing how you feel - and that you would like her to attend but not for the sake of the "enemies" (you know what I mean=) but for you and that your happiness is all that matters. Plus if she doesn't attend then she is proving everyone else correct by not attending. If your wife did nothing wrong then she shouldn't be the one hiding (per say) in fear but let it go. She seems to have lost everyone else and I don't think she would risk losing you. This may make or break your relationship. Darling stay strong and hold your guns onthis - if it's important to you then she should respect you enough to place her feelings to the side and go. God Bless you! It really saddens me to say this but if she truly loves you - she would put her feelings to the side.

It sounds to me that there is something much more deeper here.

You need to let your wife know how you feel and from the sounds of things - you wouldn’t be able to successfully express your feelings without being cut off - so I would suggest writing her letter and expressing how you feel - and that you would like her to attend but not for the sake of the “enemies” (you know what I mean=) but for you and that your happiness is all that matters. Plus if she doesn’t attend then she is proving everyone else correct by not attending. If your wife did nothing wrong then she shouldn’t be the one hiding (per say) in fear but let it go. She seems to have lost everyone else and I don’t think she would risk losing you.

This may make or break your relationship. Darling stay strong and hold your guns onthis - if it’s important to you then she should respect you enough to place her feelings to the side and go.

God Bless you!

]]> By: Elaine C http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-814 Elaine C Tue, 10 Feb 2009 01:54:02 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-814 Why not get everyone together and tell them that they are putting the whole family in a bad situation. If everyone was together then they could say whats on their mind and hopefully get over it. Just tell them that you can not take it any longer and it has to be sorted. Why not get everyone together and tell them that they are putting the whole family in a bad situation. If everyone was together then they could say whats on their mind and hopefully get over it. Just tell them that you can not take it any longer and it has to be sorted.

]]> By: RandomAct http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-813 RandomAct Mon, 09 Feb 2009 02:21:29 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-813 I think you should leave your wife alone and let her stay home if that's what she wants to do. What if the shoe were on the other foot? I promise you, the sun will come up the next day after the celebration and this is not a do or die situation. I have had relatives and some in-laws who said really ugly, hurtful and untrue things about me. I just made sure I stayed out of their presence from then on. And they didn't miss me either. They were all pretty old and most are dead now so in the overall scheme of things, I just spared myself a lot of discomfort. Your wife doesn't need therapy and she doesn't owe you or your parents the presence of her company that night. Your sister and brother-in-law could use social skills training along with a good course on etiquette ending up with a swift kick in the pants. IF your parents get upset about your wife not attending, have them direct their feelings toward the rude daughter they raised and the hick of a husband she chose. You say your wife avoids contact with anyone she does not like. And that's wrong ...........how? Maybe eventually she will learn not to carry a grudge but until then, leave her alone. I think you should leave your wife alone and let her stay home if that’s what she wants to do. What if the shoe were on the other foot? I promise you, the sun will come up the next day after the celebration and this is not a do or die situation.
I have had relatives and some in-laws who said really ugly, hurtful and untrue things about me. I just made sure I stayed out of their presence from then on. And they didn’t miss me either. They were all pretty old and most are dead now so in the overall scheme of things, I just spared myself a lot of discomfort. Your wife doesn’t need therapy and she doesn’t owe you or your parents the presence of her company that night. Your sister and brother-in-law could use social skills training along with a good course on etiquette ending up with a swift kick in the pants. IF your parents get upset about your wife not attending, have them direct their feelings toward the rude daughter they raised and the hick of a husband she chose.
You say your wife avoids contact with anyone she does not like. And that’s wrong ………..how? Maybe eventually she will learn not to carry a grudge but until then, leave her alone.

]]> By: LadyAnis http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-812 LadyAnis Sun, 08 Feb 2009 23:19:17 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-812 when we got married, the first thing we must realise is that, we came from a different background. so we must study and find out, what are the differences..... Your wife was feeling hurts with your sister in-laws comment. makes you wife feels that she is right and your sister in law is having a bad behavior.tell her that your mother likes her more than your sister in law. (she wont ask the truth from your mother!) Tell her how important she is for your mother. The anniversary is for your mother, so ask her to be the very best daughter in law amongs your family. The day she can prove... is that day! So if she refuse, she is also as bad as your sister in law.. is nt it? Sometimes we must pretend to makes everything going success. Good luck! when we got married, the first thing we must realise is that, we came from a different background. so we must study and find out, what are the differences….. Your wife was feeling hurts with your sister in-laws comment. makes you wife feels that she is right and your sister in law is having a bad behavior.tell her that your mother likes her more than your sister in law. (she wont ask the truth from your mother!) Tell her how important she is for your mother. The anniversary is for your mother, so ask her to be the very best daughter in law amongs your family. The day she can prove… is that day! So if she refuse, she is also as bad as your sister in law.. is nt it? Sometimes we must pretend to makes everything going success. Good luck!

]]> By: ambitionceo http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-811 ambitionceo Sat, 07 Feb 2009 12:34:39 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-811 she needs to get over it!!! She's letting "her" issues affect everyone in your family. Im sure there are more fam members than your sister and her brother. Check her!!! Your marriage is not just about her, its about the two of you. she needs to get over it!!! She’s letting “her” issues affect everyone in your family. Im sure there are more fam members than your sister and her brother. Check her!!! Your marriage is not just about her, its about the two of you.

]]> By: Marie http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-810 Marie Thu, 05 Feb 2009 09:38:50 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-810 there is nothing you can do to change her mind....she needs some counseling...and that's the one thing I would push her to do. In the mean time you need to go with out her....don't let her emotional problems ruin your life....be kind to her and in courage her to go get help...offer to go with her ...but don't you stop living. I;ll keep you in my prays. there is nothing you can do to change her mind….she needs some counseling…and that’s the one thing I would push her to do. In the mean time you need to go with out her….don’t let her emotional problems ruin your life….be kind to her and in courage her to go get help…offer to go with her …but don’t you stop living. I;ll keep you in my prays.

]]> By: Debbie V http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-809 Debbie V Thu, 05 Feb 2009 01:46:59 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-809 Ask your wife to put aside the hatred for the sake of your parents. Tell her she doesn't have to talk to them, speak with them, etc. But her appearance will mean SO MUCH to Mom & Dad. She owes them that much as their daughter-in-law. TX Mom Not a psychiatrist or psychologist. Ask your wife to put aside the hatred for the sake of your parents. Tell her she doesn’t have to talk to them, speak with them, etc. But her appearance will mean SO MUCH to Mom & Dad. She owes them that much as their daughter-in-law.

TX Mom
Not a psychiatrist or psychologist.

]]> By: Colonia http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-808 Colonia Wed, 04 Feb 2009 03:20:31 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-808 Aint happening dude. She'll hate you if you force her to go. And if you whine a lot or try to trick her, it will make it worse. Stay home with the wife. She's your first family now. Apologize to the loved ones and hope for the best. Aint happening dude. She’ll hate you if you force her to go. And if you whine a lot or try to trick her, it will make it worse. Stay home with the wife. She’s your first family now. Apologize to the loved ones and hope for the best.

]]> By: Quattro http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/comment-page-1/#comment-807 Quattro Mon, 02 Feb 2009 16:53:45 +0000 http://www.familylawmadeeasy.com/blog/my-wife-refuses-to-attend-family-events-with-me-because-she-hates-my-sister-and-brother-in-law/#comment-807 I have to agree with your wife. I have a two siblings that both have idiots for husbands. They are cruel, hateful, and liars. I wouldn't walk down the street to see any of them anymore. They did terrible things to my son, his wife, and my grandson. As far as I am concerned, they can all drop dead and make my day. Your wife shouldn't be forced to try to socialize with people she can't stand. If you want to go to the party, have at it, but let her stay home where she won't be badgered by people with no taste or ability to be polite. I have to agree with your wife. I have a two siblings that both have idiots for husbands. They are cruel, hateful, and liars. I wouldn’t walk down the street to see any of them anymore. They did terrible things to my son, his wife, and my grandson. As far as I am concerned, they can all drop dead and make my day. Your wife shouldn’t be forced to try to socialize with people she can’t stand. If you want to go to the party, have at it, but let her stay home where she won’t be badgered by people with no taste or ability to be polite.

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