The marriage was never an easy one, being more or less coerced by her parents when I was still inexperienced and just a teenager.
In 2005 my first wife Anna and I separated due to extreme cruelty and physical abuse on her part. We were together for almost unhappy 15 years (during which time I wanted to end the relationship, only to see her threaten violence against me) and so I was always making exceptions for her because of her mental and personal issues.
But when she threatened to stab me in my sleep with a knife and she repeatedly beat up my young son johnny with her fists (affidavits were provided by witnesses), among other horrors, that was more than I could swallow.
She eventually came out as a lesbian and wanted to move to Utah so “she can get into one of those cults and sleep with the other women” (her words). So now she can. But she’s being a royal pain to me by being so uncooperative.
The divorce is taking forever and I feel like I’m the one being crucified here. 
The office of the children’s lawyer has awarded me sole custody, granting her only supervised visitation rights. Psychiatric and police reports are in the file against her as well. These visitations took 3 years to organize in court, at enormous cost to me.
Now I want to get my divorce under way. I’m with Yvonne since the winter of 2005/06. I’m her sole breadwinner for herself and her two kids, from a previous abusive marriage. We love each other, literally till death do we part. She’s my missing half, the one I’ve been looking for all of my life! Even one day apart from her leaves me feeling empty, wretched and incomplete.
We want to eventually buy a nicer house together and we’ve been looking. But I’m fearful that any kind of acquisition or increase in prosperity I may experience will have to be shared by law with my ex (Anna) until the divorce is done.
So far my ex isn’t asking for anything. She knows the custody is against her. I do not want her to pay me child support - I’ll care for the children on my own with Yvonne’s loving help. I just want my ex to be out of my life and gone on her own merry way, no strings attached.
The court has documentation of my living situation and my expenses and earnings, they know I’m the sole income for Yvonne and her kids and they know that Johnny is given to me.
I do have a lawyer. But since we live in different cities (well, I’m in a farming town, he’s in the big city far from here) he doesn’t keep in touch, doesn’t reply to e-mails and is darned hard to get on the phone.
What are my rights and what are my rights not? I really want life to continue with no anchors of the past dragging me, no crucifying either.
